7

"Everytime I try to leave something keeps pulling me back"
-chingy ft tyreese
"I sware this time is the last time! I'm done"
-anyone in a relationship

They say in a unhealthy relationship the couple will go back to each other an average of 7 times before untimatly breaking up.

Why do we keep going back? People say "cuz I still love em." I've learned that to be untrue. I was with my ex for 5 years. He took me to hell and back. But I kept going back. After our first big break up of two years I always cheated on him. And he continued to do so to me. I kept taking him back because I would think "where would he go?" Or "what about my son?" One guy I was talkin to for 3 years while I was with my ex and he would say "how come you don't leave?" And my answer would be "because I love him".... I loved him but wasn't in love. At times I would fall back in love with him... (ie: me marring him) but within a month I was regreting being back with him and cheated on him. Till I finally left him.

People confuse love with security and often are mistaking love for that false sense of security. I know I did. I know a lot of people continue to go back to unhealty relationships because they do not want to be alone, they don't like sleeping alone etc. But I've learn to find out.... you're never alone. Loneliness is a eff'd up feeling but its a feeling that you can deal with untill you find that person who treats you right.

So when your in a relationship and you keep going back... think it threw and make sure its what you want to do. Sometimes it does work for couples! But now and days people take relationships to a whole new light. So if you want to continue in that cycle of hurt, pain, breaking up, going back go head. But circles are just continuous lines... lines do end somewhere.

when is the right time?

Hey Tay, please consider this: IS THERE A TIME LIMIT ON A REALTIONSHIP? AT SOME POINT IS IT JUST...OVER? DO PEOPLE GROW APART? SMGDMFH

I had received this is a DM for my blog. Now I'm no relationship expert... sometimes I need help with mine. Sometimes we really already know the answers to our questions... right? Like when you ask a friend for advice they are telling you what you already kno?

I have dated men, played them, loved them, hated them, cried over them everything someone with feelings has done. but the relationships that I did have were mostly long term my first boyfriend from when I was 13-18, my baby daddy 17-19, my husband 19-24... I have a problem holding on to relationships when there are over!

For instence I started talking to this guy 3 years ago. Seriously for the past 6 months. Yes we were talking while I was with my ex husband but I never cheated on my husband with this person. Anyways when I left my ex husband [marcus] we decided to start a relationship. Everything was perfect untill he went back to his girlfriend and I found out... now me and him fight almost every week, we aren't seeing each other anymore... but somehow I feel I am sticking around hoping he breaks it off with his girl. He doesn't want to be with her... everyone knows it and sees it... but he is stuck... everyone gets attatched to someone... they get comfortable... they start to loose sight of who they are because of a certain person... I've done it for 5 years and I feel my self doing it with this person [*bob] he is a great person but I'm starting to get comfortable thinking one day he'll really leave his girl... which I'm realizing he's not and I'm movng forward. This relationship between me and him is over! I know it is and now I have to do me and move on...

I think a relationship is over when you feel its over, when you've exaugsted every thing in your power to make it work and it simply just will not work! Also if you feel like its over.... and you don't want to be with that person anymore I think you should tell them, if they still care for you and want to be with you... and you ain't there anymore... leave em... it sounds harsh but honestly why lead that person on? Why tell them things and have them believe you want to be with them when you don't? So they can hate you later? Regret you? Dispise you? Feelings are meant to be hurt... and then there are feelings that never get broke like... healing... they will heal from it and once they realize that you broke up with them not to make it worse and that you did it because you care? that's the bet feeling ever...

its 2009/2010... its not the 50's anymore... people rarely find their "true loves" anymore... people think more with their no-no spots then with their hearts... with that said... nothing lasts forever. It seems like it in this day and age... at any point a relaionship could be over... hopefully in this crazy world you did find someone that is your soulmate and you can work it out... but after one big fight don't just say its over... fight! fight for the person you love, not fight them I think that's what a lot of us do... I know I'm guilty... I've fought the person argued, nagged, complained, bitched whatever... but not fought for him... there have been times where I've done nothing but fight for him and ended up feeling defeated emotionaly even though I got him back. We need to do everything we can and fight for our love.... but there's only so many beat downs someone can take... after a while if your the only one fighting... you won! You may not have one the person your fighting for but you've won yourself... move on and love yourself.

Yeah sooo not the 50's... I always say "I wish we loved like we did in the 50's and fought like we did in the 80's [dance battles]" lol its hard to find that person... we always look for "mr.right" but find "mr.rightnow" people grow apart all the time... sometimes we just grow up!

This is a long blog... ill prolly read it over and over and add stuff... but this is all honest and my feelings... I hope my advice and experience helps you in your time of heartache. Sometimes we don't have anyone to listen to us... but if you send me a question even if you wanna do it discreetly [like above] I won't say names and I prolly will post it the same day...
If you have comments or advice yourself leave it in the comments please... I'm growing with y'all and love to hear/read your advice and comments too

xoxo
-tay

*name has been change to protect...the...innocent.... lmao you know what I mean