Hey Tay, please consider this: IS THERE A TIME LIMIT ON A REALTIONSHIP? AT SOME POINT IS IT JUST...OVER? DO PEOPLE GROW APART? SMGDMFH
I had received this is a DM for my blog. Now I'm no relationship expert... sometimes I need help with mine. Sometimes we really already know the answers to our questions... right? Like when you ask a friend for advice they are telling you what you already kno?
I have dated men, played them, loved them, hated them, cried over them everything someone with feelings has done. but the relationships that I did have were mostly long term my first boyfriend from when I was 13-18, my baby daddy 17-19, my husband 19-24... I have a problem holding on to relationships when there are over!
For instence I started talking to this guy 3 years ago. Seriously for the past 6 months. Yes we were talking while I was with my ex husband but I never cheated on my husband with this person. Anyways when I left my ex husband [marcus] we decided to start a relationship. Everything was perfect untill he went back to his girlfriend and I found out... now me and him fight almost every week, we aren't seeing each other anymore... but somehow I feel I am sticking around hoping he breaks it off with his girl. He doesn't want to be with her... everyone knows it and sees it... but he is stuck... everyone gets attatched to someone... they get comfortable... they start to loose sight of who they are because of a certain person... I've done it for 5 years and I feel my self doing it with this person [*bob] he is a great person but I'm starting to get comfortable thinking one day he'll really leave his girl... which I'm realizing he's not and I'm movng forward. This relationship between me and him is over! I know it is and now I have to do me and move on...
I think a relationship is over when you feel its over, when you've exaugsted every thing in your power to make it work and it simply just will not work! Also if you feel like its over.... and you don't want to be with that person anymore I think you should tell them, if they still care for you and want to be with you... and you ain't there anymore... leave em... it sounds harsh but honestly why lead that person on? Why tell them things and have them believe you want to be with them when you don't? So they can hate you later? Regret you? Dispise you? Feelings are meant to be hurt... and then there are feelings that never get broke like... healing... they will heal from it and once they realize that you broke up with them not to make it worse and that you did it because you care? that's the bet feeling ever...
its 2009/2010... its not the 50's anymore... people rarely find their "true loves" anymore... people think more with their no-no spots then with their hearts... with that said... nothing lasts forever. It seems like it in this day and age... at any point a relaionship could be over... hopefully in this crazy world you did find someone that is your soulmate and you can work it out... but after one big fight don't just say its over... fight! fight for the person you love, not fight them I think that's what a lot of us do... I know I'm guilty... I've fought the person argued, nagged, complained, bitched whatever... but not fought for him... there have been times where I've done nothing but fight for him and ended up feeling defeated emotionaly even though I got him back. We need to do everything we can and fight for our love.... but there's only so many beat downs someone can take... after a while if your the only one fighting... you won! You may not have one the person your fighting for but you've won yourself... move on and love yourself.
Yeah sooo not the 50's... I always say "I wish we loved like we did in the 50's and fought like we did in the 80's [dance battles]" lol its hard to find that person... we always look for "mr.right" but find "mr.rightnow" people grow apart all the time... sometimes we just grow up!
This is a long blog... ill prolly read it over and over and add stuff... but this is all honest and my feelings... I hope my advice and experience helps you in your time of heartache. Sometimes we don't have anyone to listen to us... but if you send me a question even if you wanna do it discreetly [like above] I won't say names and I prolly will post it the same day...
If you have comments or advice yourself leave it in the comments please... I'm growing with y'all and love to hear/read your advice and comments too
xoxo
-tay
*name has been change to protect...the...innocent.... lmao you know what I mean
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, October 26, 2009
ewwww you got cooties!
When I have "girl talk" with my friends we sit an talk about the most sexual, sweaty, awesome sex! And we talk about the guys with the bigg penis', who can "go down" well... and we even wonder how do we know if he's the one... what's sexy to men? And some wonder why they are considered "freaks" and can't keep a man... I have so many opinons like:
-Size matters cuz I can make my own motion
-I look for swag in a man, presence, how he carrys himself and if he's able to take care of himself!
-I think guys ask girls nif they are freaks because girls put themselves out to be treated like she's a freak and ready to hump
They are many opinions... so I decided to ask some of y'all [twitter] so I can get different opinions! And here's what I got :)
Size or motion in the ocean?
@TMD462:
Thats a hard one but i would say if he he aint well endowed but has al the right motion and know how to use his tounge then i cant complain for long. However i would prefer at least 7inches, at least! But seein as aint had none in 3months and countin i think right now i will be happy wit anything, LoL!! But mos def size do matter!!
What is "sexy" to you?
@megaxave:
whats sexy to me is all together is a personal and physical thing physically it would be what any other guy thinks is sexy on a girl. from her hair, eyes, teeth, face, breasts, stomach, waist, butt, legs, and feet and then its the way a female will will ROCK IT or have the swagger to dress and be sexy with that all together.
Personally like as far as personality goes is her holding her own as a woman and being herself and confident that she is sexy and doesnt let anyone else make her feel otherwise. but then again doesnt toot her own horn about how fly she is and other females hatin on her and other garbage like that. basically a female that is secure in who she is and isnt afraid of what everyone is gonna think on the days she looks a hot mess.
i also think its sexy when a woman is smart, because she'll make smart decisions and have the wisdom not to take that route, what ever it may be. with that all together basically makes what i think is sexy.
- xavier @megaxave / twitter.com
When a male says to a female "ohhh your a freak huh?" What does he mean?
@biggcain24:
Well when I say that, its becuz its kinda like throwin it out there 2 see what she will say next kinda like see how much more info she willing to give up about herself, its used to trigger a response atleast that's how I use it
--biggcain24
what do you look for in a guy?
@xokishaxo:
What do I look for in a guy:
Someone that is passionate and dedicated as I am about what they want or do in life. Most importantly to care for my kids as if they were their own. My kids and I are a packaged deal. You could never have me and not my kids. Someone that is rough on the outside but sweet, gentle, and affectionate on the inside, and can make me laugh. Someone that will have my back as I would theirs. Trust and honesty..
How did you know he was the one?
@imaqueen:
Well...my Husby & I didn't get married until we were in a relationship for 14 years. Now 9 years later, we are still at it. I KNEW for a fact he was the one for me because even with alllllllllllllllllll his flaws...I still loved this man with every single fiber of my being. Its never been easy or perfect, but its mines. We have vested interests, such as kids(5), businesses(4), and oneanother. Also the dick was and IS supa dupa. And for me, that's a must. I'm hoping this answers your questin, Tay, but if not I would LOVE to elaborate! ;)
What's the biggest thing a woman does wrong for her not to be able to keep a man?
@dj_twomp_mp3ent:
Trust.. This only applys to ladies that have a good man.. Not all men are out there tryin to hit everything movin. If you got a good dude and you continue to not trust him eventually he'd feel like it's pointless in tryin to make you see he's trust worthy.
what makes your/a relationship successful?
@prettiesexi
Before I get started on this topic I have to say that I am not a relationship expert, this is just basically what works for Jaytee && I. Also, how I believe a relationship should work in order to survive. These are my own persona opinions, which I have developed over my past failed relationships. That and the many, many bad relationships friends and friends of friends have been in ol. With that said…
[TRUST] I feel that no matter what you’ve been through in past relationships should NEVER carry over to a new one. No matter what give that ‘next’ person a clean slate. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, so unless they give you reason to be crazy-insecure girlfriend, DON’T. Be trusting. (i.e., I know people that hide their access codes from their gf/bf. I feel that the only reason people do shit like that is when they got shit to hide).
[RESPECT] This is MAJOR. You can’t truly be happy with someone who doesn’t respect you. And not just you, people in your life that mean anything to you. I was always taught to treat others the way that you want to be treated. Talking shit, being condescending, yelling @ each other… etc… nobody wants to be with someone like that. [Communication] This is VITAL. I’ve learned so much from JayTee [my boyfriend], he’s the most kind & caring person I know. He taught me how to be humble and talk everything out. I was never the one to talk out a situation be humble and talk everything out. I was never the one to talk out a situation I was the one to be like, “Fuck you, I’m out.” It was easier to run away from a situation, be pissed, && go out with my girls. The typical ‘fuck him/her’ weekend, we’ve all done that. But it doesn’t solve anything, if anything it weekend, we’ve all done that. But it doesn’t solve anything, if anything it makes situations worse. I’m glad that now if there’s a problem or petty fight I can put my pride aside and try to work things out in an adult-respectful way. makes situations worse. I’m glad that now if there’s a problem or petty fight I makes situations worse. I’m glad that now if there’s a problem or petty fight I can put my pride aside and try to work things out in an adult-respectful way.
No mind games! No bring up OLD shit in a NEW argument; if you talked it out n the past DON’T bring it up in the present. Don’t let other people tell you how YOU should handle your gf/bf, (especially those ones who can’t keep their how YOU should handle your gf/bf, (especially those ones who can’t keep their OWN relationships in check!!) Know that relationships take a lot of work. No relationship is perfect, nope, not one That’s pretty much it. I mean there is a shit load more to it then that. But these are key factors and they’re major in mine && JayTee’s relationship. We know what DIDN’T work in our past relationships, so we don’t do those particular things. Simple, right? We think so. ;-)
- MeiShi <33
Michele & JayTee
Picture provided by Michele
Okay so I would have to say this was the best and funn-est [not a word] blog I've done! Thanx to all who participated... like michele said she is not a relationship expert. None of us our. We are speaking from our experiances... experiances do not make us experts just wiser in our choices and life! These questions may have been simple questions that everyone feels they have the answer to but everyone has a different opinion. My opinions I could go on and on! Lol and ON! But I hope these opinons and experiences help you and you learn something new. And I had fun doing this blog. Once again... thanx for those who participated.
*sorry about spelling its 1 am and I'm tired n hungry*
-also sorry about the adds not being up! I haven't made it to a PC yet... don't hate me :)
xoxo
-tay
-Size matters cuz I can make my own motion
-I look for swag in a man, presence, how he carrys himself and if he's able to take care of himself!
-I think guys ask girls nif they are freaks because girls put themselves out to be treated like she's a freak and ready to hump
They are many opinions... so I decided to ask some of y'all [twitter] so I can get different opinions! And here's what I got :)
Size or motion in the ocean?
@TMD462:
Thats a hard one but i would say if he he aint well endowed but has al the right motion and know how to use his tounge then i cant complain for long. However i would prefer at least 7inches, at least! But seein as aint had none in 3months and countin i think right now i will be happy wit anything, LoL!! But mos def size do matter!!
What is "sexy" to you?
@megaxave:
whats sexy to me is all together is a personal and physical thing physically it would be what any other guy thinks is sexy on a girl. from her hair, eyes, teeth, face, breasts, stomach, waist, butt, legs, and feet and then its the way a female will will ROCK IT or have the swagger to dress and be sexy with that all together.
Personally like as far as personality goes is her holding her own as a woman and being herself and confident that she is sexy and doesnt let anyone else make her feel otherwise. but then again doesnt toot her own horn about how fly she is and other females hatin on her and other garbage like that. basically a female that is secure in who she is and isnt afraid of what everyone is gonna think on the days she looks a hot mess.
i also think its sexy when a woman is smart, because she'll make smart decisions and have the wisdom not to take that route, what ever it may be. with that all together basically makes what i think is sexy.
- xavier @megaxave / twitter.com
When a male says to a female "ohhh your a freak huh?" What does he mean?
@biggcain24:
Well when I say that, its becuz its kinda like throwin it out there 2 see what she will say next kinda like see how much more info she willing to give up about herself, its used to trigger a response atleast that's how I use it
--biggcain24
what do you look for in a guy?
@xokishaxo:
What do I look for in a guy:
Someone that is passionate and dedicated as I am about what they want or do in life. Most importantly to care for my kids as if they were their own. My kids and I are a packaged deal. You could never have me and not my kids. Someone that is rough on the outside but sweet, gentle, and affectionate on the inside, and can make me laugh. Someone that will have my back as I would theirs. Trust and honesty..
How did you know he was the one?
@imaqueen:
Well...my Husby & I didn't get married until we were in a relationship for 14 years. Now 9 years later, we are still at it. I KNEW for a fact he was the one for me because even with alllllllllllllllllll his flaws...I still loved this man with every single fiber of my being. Its never been easy or perfect, but its mines. We have vested interests, such as kids(5), businesses(4), and oneanother. Also the dick was and IS supa dupa. And for me, that's a must. I'm hoping this answers your questin, Tay, but if not I would LOVE to elaborate! ;)
What's the biggest thing a woman does wrong for her not to be able to keep a man?
@dj_twomp_mp3ent:
Trust.. This only applys to ladies that have a good man.. Not all men are out there tryin to hit everything movin. If you got a good dude and you continue to not trust him eventually he'd feel like it's pointless in tryin to make you see he's trust worthy.
what makes your/a relationship successful?
@prettiesexi
Before I get started on this topic I have to say that I am not a relationship expert, this is just basically what works for Jaytee && I. Also, how I believe a relationship should work in order to survive. These are my own persona opinions, which I have developed over my past failed relationships. That and the many, many bad relationships friends and friends of friends have been in ol. With that said…
[TRUST] I feel that no matter what you’ve been through in past relationships should NEVER carry over to a new one. No matter what give that ‘next’ person a clean slate. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, so unless they give you reason to be crazy-insecure girlfriend, DON’T. Be trusting. (i.e., I know people that hide their access codes from their gf/bf. I feel that the only reason people do shit like that is when they got shit to hide).
[RESPECT] This is MAJOR. You can’t truly be happy with someone who doesn’t respect you. And not just you, people in your life that mean anything to you. I was always taught to treat others the way that you want to be treated. Talking shit, being condescending, yelling @ each other… etc… nobody wants to be with someone like that. [Communication] This is VITAL. I’ve learned so much from JayTee [my boyfriend], he’s the most kind & caring person I know. He taught me how to be humble and talk everything out. I was never the one to talk out a situation be humble and talk everything out. I was never the one to talk out a situation I was the one to be like, “Fuck you, I’m out.” It was easier to run away from a situation, be pissed, && go out with my girls. The typical ‘fuck him/her’ weekend, we’ve all done that. But it doesn’t solve anything, if anything it weekend, we’ve all done that. But it doesn’t solve anything, if anything it makes situations worse. I’m glad that now if there’s a problem or petty fight I can put my pride aside and try to work things out in an adult-respectful way. makes situations worse. I’m glad that now if there’s a problem or petty fight I makes situations worse. I’m glad that now if there’s a problem or petty fight I can put my pride aside and try to work things out in an adult-respectful way.
No mind games! No bring up OLD shit in a NEW argument; if you talked it out n the past DON’T bring it up in the present. Don’t let other people tell you how YOU should handle your gf/bf, (especially those ones who can’t keep their how YOU should handle your gf/bf, (especially those ones who can’t keep their OWN relationships in check!!) Know that relationships take a lot of work. No relationship is perfect, nope, not one That’s pretty much it. I mean there is a shit load more to it then that. But these are key factors and they’re major in mine && JayTee’s relationship. We know what DIDN’T work in our past relationships, so we don’t do those particular things. Simple, right? We think so. ;-)
- MeiShi <33
Michele & JayTee
Picture provided by Michele
Okay so I would have to say this was the best and funn-est [not a word] blog I've done! Thanx to all who participated... like michele said she is not a relationship expert. None of us our. We are speaking from our experiances... experiances do not make us experts just wiser in our choices and life! These questions may have been simple questions that everyone feels they have the answer to but everyone has a different opinion. My opinions I could go on and on! Lol and ON! But I hope these opinons and experiences help you and you learn something new. And I had fun doing this blog. Once again... thanx for those who participated.
*sorry about spelling its 1 am and I'm tired n hungry*
-also sorry about the adds not being up! I haven't made it to a PC yet... don't hate me :)
xoxo
-tay
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