Man oh man! Oh man! I just got off the phone with my first love. This nigga been in jail for 7 years! His best friend got out and contacted me which made me miss him [my first love R.C] more.
While in this convo I got a whole bunch of "you didn't hold me down" blah blah blah. Which made me cry! Ughhhh why? Man iono 7 years of not being able to express my feelings to him because he's in a cell prolly as big as my bed. Locked up since we was 19. We got together when I was 18. So we are stuck in time trying to figure out how to get out of the past to move forward... with or without each other. He's always been in my thoughts and in my heart but I know I couldn't be with him. We fight just talkin on the phone for 5 mins.
Wow! 7 years later. I had a kid, started my own company, got married, getting divorced... at 18 this is not what I had planned... okay well to start my own company was since I had been doing this ish since 17 lol but my son was not in my plan till about the age I'm at now. But I WOULDN'T give him up for anything.
So what do I do now if I have completed all goals I had in my life? I didn't want to be famous... or a doctor, or lawyer, or anything special like that. I wanted to be a fashion designer, a dancer, a sports agent, or run my own entertainment company. So by the time I was 20 I had my own company, a kid, my own spot, 4 cars and culd buy anything I wanted. All that changed. Material things aren't what makes me happy anymore. At 25 being with my son, family and friends is what matters to me. I am richer than any rich person in the world with the people I have in my life now.
I don't know how all this is on my mind after talking to R.C. I guess considering his situation and me being able to live my life how I wanted. Its takin a toll seeing he gets out in 8 months. There's so many things he hasn't expirenced, so many new things for him to see.
*sigh* 7 years... smh... exactly 7 years when he gets out!
I'm scared for him :(
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